You know you´re Honduran if

• You eat a tamale and feel as if you’re eating a “healthy breakfast”

• You still believe that that war with El Salvador was caused by a football match

• You talk with your hands constantly, even when talking on the phone or chatting online and no one else is around

• as a child, you believed a huge monster would come and eat you if you didn’t go to bed

• You’re mother nags at you for not being able to do normal household chores while she does them herself

• All people of light skin colour are “gringos”

• You have over 20 cousins, and as you get older you find you have even more cousins who you never even heard about

• (for girls) If you’re not married by 22 years of age, you either marry your neighbour or live the rest of your life a bitter old woman

• You buy all your drinks at a trucha

• Your house (in Honduras) is protected by barbed wire, alarms, watch dogs, electrical wire, and some poor guy who you pay to stand outside with a rifle

• All your relatives in Honduras have a story which involves sentences such as: “he put a knife to my throat”, “they put guns to our heads”, or something similar

• You have gotten away with speeding in Honduras by giving the cop an American dollar

• (in Honduras) you keep extra change in the car in case someone spontaneously cleans your window

• You use the roosters as an alarm clock (in Honduras)

• You know you’re Honduran when you cook, and have eaten 1/3 of the food before serving it on the table

• Your aunt makes a cross on your head when you get the hiccups

• Someone tells you to be at their house at 17:00 and you start taking a shower at 19:45.

• You only know 1/5 of the people who arrive at your wedding

• Only 1/5 of the people at your wedding know who you are

• You use the verb “joder” like nothing

• You would eat a corn tortilla over a flour tortilla any day

• After you and your relatives have had a 3 hour conversation, you realise that no one has payed attention to anything the other people said

• You feel inferior if you don’t have some kind of demeaning nickname

• Your relatives bathe themselves in Coca cola before they sunbathe in order to “get a better tan”

• You serve your guests coca cola without even asking what they would like to drink

• You consider calling the cops whenever you see someone with a tattoo

• You know youre Honduran when you argue with your mother and she ends the conversation by saying “you wait”

• Youre still wondering what you’re waiting for

• You know how to fit 23 people in a 5-seat car

• Half of your relatives come along on your first date with a guy

• You weren’t freaked out that time your uncle brought a gun to a party

4 comentarios to “You know you´re Honduran if”

  1. Funny! when I was little I was afraid of monsters under the bed. I feared that if anything (a hand, a foot) hung over the edge, the monster would get it.

    I’m still a flour-tortilla girl. I eat corn tortillas, but prefer flour.

  2. Sun bathe with coke…. jaja…. been there, done that…

  3. Haha giving guests coca-cola before asking them what they want to drnk LOL Coca is like sacred for us lol. I’m half Hodnuran Half PuertoRican and I hav ahd a good laugh reding both U know your _____if……lol true true true

  4. FLOUR TORILLAS ANY DAY!

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